Synopsis since 2010:
- China started to suck. Band breaks up. The music stopped. The air pollution wasn't interesting anymore, it was just downright dangerous. The new girlfriend I'm so excited about turned out to be abusive and suffer from narcissistic personality disorder. Dog dies. No really. Drinking is no fun anymore. Other expat friends leave. Make decision to come back to LA. At year three you gotta decide to stay for the long haul or come back. Every expat goes through this.
- Suckage continued Stateside. Friends here are married and living suburb life. I hate them.
- Much confusion and depression ensues. Try rekindling my previous career as a software guy. Cannot land a decent job for total lack of desire and talent that cannot be faked in rigorous 4 hour tech interviews. How can I suck so badly at something I don't even want? !
- Go on a 10 day vipassana meditation retreat. Life is changed. Mind is blown. Realize the ego and mind is the source of all misery. Practice daily meditation for the benefit of all beings. Want to be a better person.
- But I still gotta live in a material world. Then the might ah-hah moment comes...
Oh fuck it! Let's just start a business. I start a retail site to sell guitar effect pedals. It's what I know. I got tired of sitting on my ass and feeling upset about my job prospects. I start contacting manufacturers. I get some samples. I try some Mooer pedals. I start testing out the Joyo pedals . They're a lot better than I thought. "What's the worst thing that can happen?" I think.
More connections start happening in my life through the business. I meet a man who offers to start a business with me. I slowly meet more people through him. Life gets more interesting. I feel alive again. This must be a good thing.
One thing leads to another. The important thing is to keep walking in the dark. In fact it's when it's darkest that you have to keep walking. When you take a step...even a small one, the universe will find you and give you help. When your intention and mental outlook change, everything external beings to change. It's the law of karma.
Thoughts matter.
